Even the strongest, most passionate people you know could crumble into the feeling of nothingness, all the while putting on a brave exterior. Pop star Lady Gaga’s new interview about her battle with depression echoes similar heartbreaking sentiments. In a Gaga-style, tell-all interview to the Billboard Magazine, the Rain On Me singer opened up about her struggle with depression over the last few years.
“I didn’t want to be myself…”
The supremely talented singer and 11-time Grammy winner has been quite vocal about her mental health journey.
“I used to wake up in the morning, and I would realize I was ‘Lady Gaga.’ And then I became very depressed and sad, and I didn’t want to be myself. I felt threatened by the things my career brought into my life and the pace of my life,” the 34-year-old singer told the magazine.
Lady Gaga has also shed light on how her struggle played a pivotal role in creating her newest album ‘Chromatica’, in an interview with the People.
“I spent a lot of time in a sort of catatonic state of just not wanting to do anything. And then I finally, slowly started to make music and tell my story through my record,” the singer noted.
The primary theme of her latest album is about finding the light of resilience in the darkness, and in this case, how creating music helped her come out of a really dark phase in her life. This is when she decided to let her music tell her story.
“I wondered why I couldn’t flip the switch back up”
Gaga also shared in the Billboard interview that how she was afraid of leaving the house and spent her days chain-smoking and crying, wanting to “flip the switch inside her back on.” Talking about how she struggled with therapy to lift the fog that had engulfed her, she said “I was peeling all the layers of the onion in therapy. So as you dig deeper, you get closer to the core, and the core of the onion stinks.”
Depression doesn’t have a face and we need to remember that…
Lady Gaga’s story is a reminder that you can fight mental health conditions and find your way back home, bit by bit. Celebrate even your smallest victories and recognise the fact that you are struggling and yet working on making yourself better. We also need to understand that mental health conditions aren’t black and white, they are mostly grey.
Depression hides in the way you conduct yourself–in your conversations, in your blank laughter, the way you react to grief, the way you feel nothing at all with all your success and the way you act in public to compensate for the numbing pain you feel inside.